madminx (madminx) wrote in thecronies,

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Fatass strolls across the hallway and into the bedroom just in time to hear, for the hundredth time, Rowan and Claudia plotting her and Bitchface's death.

Claudia: "Why is she so cute?"

Rowan: "I don't know! We should kill it!"

Claudia: "We really should..."

Fatass decides it would be better to kill the humans before they kill her, so she and Bitchface begin to plot their death. They decide that the best way to do it will be death by cuteness.

Fatass devises a series of tricks they know will drive the humans insane, and then she demonstrates them to Bitchface.

First lesson: Murring. Bitchface never really got the hang of this one, to Fatass's dismay...
To demonstrate the effects of the Murr, Fatass strolls into the bedroom and starts running around looking at things and murring. The humans go wild.

Fatass: "Muurrrrrrrrrrrr.... Murr? Murr... MURR!!!"

Rowan: "Stupid cute piece of shit!"

Claudia: *shakes head and sighs* "WHY?!" Why would she do that?!"

Rowan: *sigh* "I don't know..."

Fatass ran out of the bedroom murring and told Bitchface to go practice. Bitchface strolls into the room and can't bring herself to murr, so instead she just plants herself in the middle of the room and meows sadly. This has a very interesting effect on the humans.

Bitchface: "Meow?.. MOW... mow..."

Claudia: "AWWW!! You're so cute!" *kisskiss*

Rowan: "Kill it!!"

Claudia: "Might have to."

As Bitchface runs out of the room, Fatass compliments her. She thought the idea was brilliant. Meowing sadly seems to be very powerful indeed... Bitchface, however, thought it was awful and whines about how annoying it is being kissed.

As time goes by the two cats master their art of cuteness. They sense the humans slowly becoming weaker, but they also keep catching bits and pieces of the humans plotting their death. They decide that if the humans really were going to kill them, wouldn't they have done it by now? Nontheless, they continue with their evil plan...

  • (no subject)

    The relationship between Claudia and Bitchface has always been quite interesting and sometimes even mysterious. It is still unknown whether or not…

  • Because English class can get so boring sometimes...

    Note #1, from Claudia Kilburne to Rowan Ludlowe: Note #2, from Rowan Ludlowe to Claudia Kilburne: Note #3, from Claudia Kilburne to Rowan…

  • (no subject)

    Rowan is crazy, you see, that's why she did that. The same kind of crazy that enjoys things like tofu. Even though it tastes like shit, or rather,…

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